Last Weekend I Lost 5 Twitter Followers (and this is what I learned)

(I was going to go all sprawling essay on this bad boy but come to think of it, list form may actually be more coercive in ensuring that curious humans actually read this stuff.)

1. Twitter and My Self-Esteem Are Connected Part I

Today I saw this Tweet so spot-on that I retweeted it.

Okay, so that’s true. And yes, I can (wo)man up and admit to checking my “mentions” page a horrifyingly amount of times–especially given the miserly results. So, um, yes, it hurt my feelings when five people, groups, trolls or otherwise decided I wasn’t worth the 11 seconds it takes to scan one of my “trying-to-hard” Tweets. Okay, maybe that’s exactly the reason.

2. I’m not the same person on Twitter that I am at 22 Cortlandt. Or with my social-justice glossy-eyed friends. Or with my intellectualism and tea companions. Or basically, pretty much anywhere except Finnerty’s, my Market Street, Embarcadero Center, and AT&T Park away home.

Indeed, my social media personality on this platform, is a persona that (I hope) sounds like an intelligent and informed baseball enthusiast. Except I have (almost) no friends who care about baseball. And I don’t have that gig right now that I can put as a byline (Columnist at Grantland / Contributor to SB Nation / Creator of CantPredictBall)

So I’m just a fan. Relegated to the status of occasional responses by VIPs creates happiness that can only be characterized as juvenile.

3. All the Cool People Have No Idea I’m Clever

Really. Like I feel like my witty, snarky and astute self-esteem and muscles are constantly in use on Twitter but I constantly feel like I’m excluded from the cool Christian 20-something clique, New York City Communications, Media and Start-up Scene, San Francisco Giants club or otherwise. And yes, since Twitter lets me “eavesdrop” onto everyone else’s smart one-liners–I know that I stand firmly on the periphery.

(That moment when you look for clever tweets to embed and evidence this claim and don’t find any. Well then.)

4. Twitter and My Self-Esteem Are Connected Part 2

I haven’t been on Facebook since two weeks before Matt Cain through his perfect game in June 2012.  I don’t have a smartphone (and therefore no Instagram, Snapchat, or other vanity social media.) I write self-aware articles and make self-aware pontifications suggesting that I have carved out a unique way to avoid the Narcissism Plaguing My Generation.

Gut-check. Still got Twitter. Still invisibly jump up and down whenever someone decides I’m worth that 11 seconds.

5. Without a Strong Online Presence I Feel Powerless

Look, I know that whenever I blast 7-15 clumps of my email contacts with some mind-blowing link, people actually read it. But since you can’t measure that on Klout then my influencer score might as well be nil. Also, because it’s not public. I’m glad I need validation like this.

6. Like It or Not. I Am a Product of a Social Media Generation

Like it or not.


3 thoughts on “Last Weekend I Lost 5 Twitter Followers (and this is what I learned)

  1. What I learned, by paying attention to who “followed” and then “un-followed” my twitter feed is that there are a bunch of people out their building their lists. They have learned that we are a “polite” society and people will often “follow” you back if you “follow” them first. So, many of these people would “follow” me, then “un-follow” me when I did not join their list. Later, because I must keep coming up in the list of recommendations or something, they would “follow” me again and when I did not “follow” them back, they would “un-follow”. So, it is very likely that the ones that “un-followed” you were never interested in what you were saying, they just wanted you to “follow” them. If all five “un-followed” at once, they were deleted by a marketing group that is managing the lists of multiple twitter accounts. The “un-follows” likely had nothing to do with your tweets. I’ve lost and gained the same 8 on more than one occasion.

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