It’s Ridiculous

I have so much to be thankful for.
If I don’t wake up overwhelmed with gratitude then I don’t deserve to live another day.

1. I have parents who put aside their best interests to look after me. They repeatedly sacrifice for me.

2. I have two sisters with whom I have the most fun that I could possibly have with. I’m so happy that we have grown up with each other. Their happiness is my happiness.

3. I have a relationship with a deeply personal and loving God who even though I better at ignoring Him than seeking out his presence still loves me all the same.

4. I have baseball that I lets me cheer and smile and dance and cry and mourn and grow.

5. I have clothes. Lots of them. I’m not forced to wear the same thing every day. I am drowning in them and I only show how much I have by complaining about my laundry.

6. I always know that I will have food. I may not burst at the end of the night but I never go to bed hungry. I am fed deliciously by my mother who only feeds us what she thinks will be best for us, i.e. organic!

7. I have a computer that fuels my interests in people and TV (watching shows online!) and the world.

8. I have phones that let me talk to everyone I want to when I want to no matter where they are.

9. I have a roof over my head but its so much more. It’s a place where I am wanted and where I belong unconditionally all the time.

10. I have my radio. I have KNBR. I have the Razor and Mr. T. I have Giants baseball and A’s baseball. I have 49ers, Hugh Hewitt, and the San Jose Sharks. Oh and 89.3 KOHL!

11. I have music. I can be sad and cry with the singer or delighted and express my joy with the band.

12. I have cross-country. The best people + the best exercise + best time of year = best part of Moreau.

13. I have good classes this year. I am learning and I am loving it. I have the best Spanish teacher and the best English teacher that I have ever had. There is NO AP Bio this year.

14. I live in America. I can do things that so many millions of other people have only dreamed about. I am in a safe community, disease free, and I do not have to worry about whether I will live tomorrow or not.

15. I know how to read. I am not illiterate but instead can understand and be involved in a highly intellectual world. I will always be included in the world because I can read.

16. I know wonderful people:
          1. Michael Escobar that makes Computer Essentials a hilarious class with whom I will never stop being frustrated with. Oh well, I’m happy I finally met him.
          2. Tami Hays that I know will never let me go no matter what I do. Unconditionally there and one person that I know we listen on both sides.
          3. Ruth Acdemic thank you for pushing me farther in my spiritual walk than anyone has ever dared to. I want to be around you more so that your influence will continue to challenge me.
          4. David Paden for us putting lots of stuff behind us. March-June was rough but I think we’ve put a lot of it away and I’m glad to see you weren’t gone for good.
          5. Nana for even though its hard when there’s an extra person around I’m still happy to able to see you everyday. I love you.
           6. Noemi Perlas for being someone I can talk to at school when everything else fails. I believe in you Noemi and I hope you know how much you mean to people. We all are so indebted to you.
            7. Vy Le for being one of my favorite people to hang out with at school. I am so blessed to be your friend Vy and I’d go crazy if you hadn’t gone to Moreau.
             8. Chris Munekawa for being the best person that you can possibly be. Our friendship has been the highlight of my school year. You get me so well.
             9. Nick Lee for being only one of two cousins that actually demonstrates any type of interest in our family. We miss you so much; come and visit us! Sorry about those Mets.
             10. Yoni Fine for being the coolest journalism teacher ever and inspiring our staff to make goals and achieve them every day.
             11. Justin Albert/ Jubert for showing kindness and understanding to everyone that you know and for being a great person to be co-editor with on our first issue.
             12. Carolina Aguilar for encouragement throughout the school day. Thank you for making me a better person all around.
             13. David Castro & Elliot Lopes for the coolest rides homes everyday for the past 3 months. I can’t wait till next year!
             14. Krista Abrams for being the kindest and silliest friend. I can’t wait to see you next week! You rock Krista!
              15. Heather Murphy for letting me be real.
               16. Santa! Me and Lewis had a blast today taking pictures Santa so thank you!


now this is the truth

blue. yes you blue.

i’m so over life right now.
i’m tired of it all.

and i’m tired of lying.
i know that i’m lying.

and yes it is to all of you who read this.
but i’m really supposed to give you the truth?

oh well.

(those of you that i love, the ones i know aren’t going anywhere,
please force this painful heartache out of me.
life won’t get any better until i can confront it)