has it really been a month? wow…okay here’s a poem to make you think


 


black chucks for my son


he deserves them


his crappy mother woke up half drunk today


and he wailed less then when she woke up sober the one before


 


my dingy apartment leaves my money for daycare


and the man writing down my number deserves to be slapped


for one passionate, sensual night i traded away any thought of having a true career or life


 


i’m scared of that man. i admit it


what he might do if i learn to like him


they all want you, your body not your brains and certainly not my baby


i’m sorry dear son


i wanted you….10 years later


 


i feel dirty, unwanted, i feel like i deserve a good time but i know i’m just the mother of a bastard baby


low-income with the father on welfare


haven’t seen him since he moved to California…his dreams failed to falter


 


a selfish wretch i know i am


what can i do


who would care?


 


black chucks for my son


i’ll give him dignity in daycare


 


________________________________________________________________________


 


          HE SCREAMS TO YOU out of the darkness and vastness and lonliness


                                              “I CREATED YOU, I LOVE YOU”


 


 


 


                  suicide would be an option if God were not my answer


 

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2 thoughts on “

  1. Did you WRITE that???  That was so thought-provoking… woah.  Really good.  *blink*  I don’t really know what to say, I’m still trying to sort it all out in my mind.
    “HE SCREAMS TO YOU out of the darkness and vastness and lonliness                            “I CREATED YOU, I LOVE YOU”
    ^^ I love that… it’s from the Circle trilogy, right?  It sounds like it.  So beautiful… *sigh*

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